On the National Mall

take a pic in front of the white house and be like “BEEN DUR DONE DAT”

1. See the original Spirit of St. Louis airplane that Charles Lindbergh flew from New York to Paris in 1927, and then learn how things fly at the National Air and Space Museum.—one of the most visited museums on the mall—thank you very much.

2. Watch films of flying saucers at the National Archives. (The films were used in Congressional hearings in the 1950s when people we’re convinced that aliens had invaded the country.) go into a dark room where the mmost important documents of Amuuuurika are… yowzaaa

Go to the drum circle and watch the coolest ish youll ever see! GO ON A SUNDAY between 10am-6pm… watch the crazy humans shake it like a salt shaker!

3. Gross out your friends at the Natural History Museum’s Insect Zoo. Note: Tarantula feedings are Tuesday through Friday at 10:30, 11:30, and 1:30; Saturday and Sunday at 11:30, 12:30, and 1:30. ewwwwwwwwwsss

4. Enjoy the National Gallery of Art’s sculpture garden with a fun seasonal experience with JAZZ IN THE GARDEN….woooo. In winter, twirl around the ice-skating rink. In summer, enjoy exploring with some phenomenal gelato from the cafeteria between the building’s two wings.

check our dorothy’s red ruby slippers at the natural history museum… these are actually my slippers… so HA

5. Check out the latest addition to the thriving D.C. museum scene at the Newseum. Opened in 2008, this institution includes many interactive exhibits dedicated to the global history of news.see the dc sniper exhibit.

Dip your feet in the sculpture garden as you listen to jazzz. yay

6. Taste North, South, and Central American cuisine at the National Museum of the American Indian’s Mitsitam CafĂ©. its kind of expensive —-actually this shouldn’t be number 6…i take it back.

Check out the loud, cray cray sea lions!

7. Check out the sometimes offbeat portraits of 20th-century Americans (Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe prints, a Time magazine cover of Madonna) on the third floor of the National Portrait Gallery. super sexy. tres tres shee she whooo whooo

8. Pose nude next to sculptures by Rodin and Henry Moore in the Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden and then

stare at a pedicabber’s big boooty—venture inside to see one of the world’s great collections of modern art.

9. Learn how to make money — literally — at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, where paper money has been printed since 1914. get a sample of a million dollar bill! ha ha

10. Follow the lives of those who lived and died in Nazi Germany at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. nice and depressing the way we like it.

Around Town

cross the key bridge from M street into Arlington via Key bridge. pass the francis scott key memorial and kiss your mummy on the chick. mwahahahhahah (if you are with your mummy and not your hubby)

11. See giant pandas, elephants, and lions (and sloth bears and giant salamanders) at the National Zoo.Dep catch the sea lions… they are so scary loud and cray cray….

go to the zoo and eat some panda poop MWHAHAHHAH

12. Top everything and anything with chili at Ben’s Chili Bowl, a U Street institution since 1958. and look at the cool murals….they are amazing, colorful, and cool.

make a really silly hair do and start asking locals for directions to the nearest hair salon in Georgetown

13. You have to plan weeks or months in advance, and you’re only allowed into eight of the 132 rooms, but there’s no denying the kick of touring the White House…..

14. Watch congressmen and women debate, insult, and wrangle their way through the job of making laws in the Capitol. Start your explorations at the Capitol Visitor Center, a massive underground facility that debuted in 2008.

C-A-P-S caps caps caps!!! go to a game at the verizon center….and paint your face red!

15. Pick up organic fruit and eclectic local crafts at the Eastern Market, which was restored to its Victorian splendor after a devastating 2007 fire.

CHANGE YOUR NATITUDE and… go to a nats game… (BASEBALL)

16. Order a pint and listen in as Congressional staffers gripe about their famous bosses at the Hawk & Dove, the quintessential D.C. bar.

check out the lincoln tower of books thats 4 stories high at the peterson house —across the street from Ford’s Theater

17. Take a break from debate to contemplate the Gutenberg Bible, the lavishly sculpted Great Hall, and the splendor of the gilded Main Reading Room at the Library of Congress.

18. Indulge your inner James Bond with a look at 007’s Aston Martin from Goldfinger, along with more serious toys used by the CIA, FBI, and KGB at the International Spy Museum. 20 dollar cover.

19. Complete your Jackie O look at Nana, a D.C. favorite for its stock of new and vintage clothes.

play jenga by the washington monument and compare the two structures—(they both a free standing structures with no mortor),—which one will fall first???women’s clothes, handmade jewelry, and cool handbags.

20. Take in the scene at Dupont Circle, where artists, power-lunchers, chess players, and Olympic-caliber bike messengers abound and challenge a sevant homeless chessplayer to a game of speed chess! I BET YOU YOULL LOSE BRUHHHHH!

post really sexily and deppressingly in front of the FDR memorial—in the bread line….. wah wah wah wah

21. Scope out the art scene on the first Friday of every month, when Dupont Circle’s art spaces are open late and score complimentary wine as a bonus.

22. Eat with your hands at Etete (1942 9th St. NW), the best of the city’s Ethiopian restaurants. and then lick your fingers and feel like a kid.

check out gay town —dupont area–17th street between R and P… get hit on by some sexy dudes…. and some hot buff chicks like me that have thunder thighs. 

23. View the heavens through one of the world’s most powerful telescopes at the U.S. Naval Observatory.

rent a capital bike share yo… and take it to eastern market. get drank. smoke bacon, and have a ball baby

24. Wrinkle your nose at the Corpse Flower, explore the jungle, gawk at the orchids, or stroll the paths at the new National Garden at the United States Botanic Garden.

25. GO On a Pedicab Wine Tasting Tour—-with us! GET SILLLEHHHHHHHH

call 2026563593 and place an order for the coolest shirt youll ever have…. “my BABY DADDY—Thomas Jefferson” ha ha arent i funny????

26. Go to the top of the W hotel and have an appetizer. Feel so sheee shee. Feel so whoo whoo.

27. Go up the Old Post office Pavilion elevator. Take pics, and then upload to your facebook wall….omg. NOPE old post office pavilion was turned into THE TRUMP TOWER. GO say HI and BYE. its actually pretty in there though. So maybe DO do it.

BE INVISIBLE!!! roam aimlessly through the metro lines–play a game of sweet and sour —-make note how no one makes eye contact, says hi, or acknowledges your existence —its worse than NY… ha ha…

28. rent a capital bike share and take matters into your own hands. Mount vernon trail is super awesome amazing omg.

29. Stroll around U street–check out the lincoln theater, lees flower shop, bens chili bowl, murals, paintings, jazz clubs, Bohemian Tavern, and “BLACK BROADWAY”. Then go to the disco and watch the humans be humans as if you are an alien.

ooo la la… look at these sexy babes… going on a pedicab tour… tipsy—-loving it.

30. On Sunday night from 8-11 go to Vino Teca on 11th and U street…for live flamenco dancing and live flamenco music—-awesome….intimate….Ricardo and friends are the best.


10 Responses to “TOP 30 THINGS TO DO IN DC”
  1. Janette says:

    I liked your suggestion about the metro! This is a great article. I shared it with my family and this whole week, we will doing most of these things!

  2. Alana says:

    Meridian Hill is a great place! Beautiful pictures!

  3. Lynette says:


    Im having a girlfriend come here on Saturday and we want to do the cock roaches thing!!! ha ha!
    We want you to take us on that flamenco tour! Sounds Fun!

    Thanks so much miss—you really have some WILD HAIR!

    love it,

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  10. Roofer DC says:

    This is a great list. I’ve lived in the area for several years and never done some of these. Thanks for sharing!

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