IF I WERE HOMELESS IN WASHINGTON DC

It’s not easy being homeless, is it? We all have walked around K street, Chinatown, or Metro Center in the middle of one of those freezing nights—and seen the homeless in sleeping bags-shivering. Our hearts sink a little when we see them and its freezing, or burning hot. Some of us may give the man a dollar or two out of the empathy we feel towards their troubles.  Have you ever wondered what it would be like? I have… I imagine what I would do everyday. What I would eat, where I would go, where I would sleep. And by golly—one of these days—I’d like to do an actual one month experiment. These homeless people on the street are constantly calling out “Street Sense” and trying to sell me newspapers. I see homeless people begging for money  on the street one minute—-and the next minute—with I-phones, sleeping in sexy apartments like The  Chastleton—a condominium complex on R and 16th street.

The Washington Hilton-My second home away from home…. If I were homeless I would find a way to hide in the locker rooms of this pool and just live incognito amongst the fresh towels and snug luxurious lockers. I’d wait until 6:30AM to leave the locker room, have a fresh pot of complimentary green tea, walk over to the pool, lounge around, watch some BIG SCREEN tv in the big blue comfy couches in the lounge, work on my next “If I were homeless in Washington DC” research while I enjoy the free WiFi, swim my 120 laps, do some yoga, and participate non alcoholically in the complimentary open bar, while I enjoy the snack goodies. This is a great homeless life I’d say!

The picture below is one of the Washington Hilton. The pool that I am obsessed with. It is outdoor and yes boys and girls it is currently open right now. I am about to venture there now in fact. Anyways…. the point I am trying to make is … Homeless people in DC —some of them—- live quite lavish lives. The ones that really know how to hustle… the ones that make 20 dollars an hour or more on the corner of Wisconsin and M in Georgetown— the ones that sing a nice little rap—I have seen— don’t live such a terrible life.

Comments

3 Responses to “IF I WERE HOMELESS IN WASHINGTON DC”
  1. janis says:

    I think I met you at the pool. I was with my girls and you were swimming like an olympic swimmer. My girls really enjoyed it when you were playing with them! They admire you and want to swim as great as you when they grow up!!! Hope to see you at the pool again. I also read your Washington Hilton Yelp review. It was the most comprehensive review I have ever read! Thanks Shaady!!—-with Love—Janis

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