ELF IS COMING TO DC!

When a man Fs up, it is our job as the super pedicab WoMan  on call, to save the day.

So when Kendra (another fellow pedicab super woman) stormed off after a relationship ending argument with her dumb doo doo brain-boyfriend —she was pissed. She got on her bike, and she was riding away—FAST.  I knew she’d be better off coming to my house than riding all the way back home with man problems on her hands. But following her speedy swag through the streets of DC,  to make sure she was ok was not easy! She’s on two wheeled bike, and I’m on a three wheeled tricycle— but not the regular everyday Discover DC Mobile—pedicab.

Today it was different. Today I am on my Lean Mean, pedal for Green Machine. My-Mo Money Mo Problomz, Solar Sunkiss CAR-BIKE LOVE CHILD! Today Im in my booom, you missed it, perceptions twisted, ELF in YO FACE, no gas wasted,  google it, to shmoogle it! cant craigslist it. ELF. and it goes 35 miles an hour without pedaling, BOOM.

But even though the Elf is fast, Dayuuuuum! Kendra is faster! Kendra’s got speed. And since Kendra is small, She swivel hips magees through oncomming traffic post mate books it from one side of town to another as fast as a speeding bullet!  So Good thing I’ve got my ELF today! I can pedal, or not (use my pedals), or use my solar panel power ups from my star turbo power Super Mario Brothers 3 savings account!

So, we’re leaving Chinatown via 7th street going north turning onto oncomming traffic, and I know that red light on Mass and 7th is going to be a major buzz kill so I decide to turn it up a notch. As I purposely passed the PoPO on Massachusettes Avenue and  ran two red lights (that shouldn’t have been there in the first place) in my new spaceship elf, a megaphone voice yelled,… “STOP whatever this vehicle is…what is that a car? a bike? a flying egg?)….

FLYING EGG, not really. BIKE, maybe. CAR, No!

“Its an Elf Sir. And my friend  with the pink Italia helmet who you see  pedoodle-ing away like its nobody’s business is quite upset due to her dumb doo doo brain boyfriend, now Xboyfriend’s narrSasmic characteristics that drove milady mad! They had a lovers quarrell and nolonger are lovers NO MOH! Now I, my dear Po, as I ride the Elf-mobile, am the designated super Woman Pedicabber of the Day—and therefore must save her from what is about to happen next, so you must let me go with a fair warning. Elf mo-bile in hand!”

Po (POLICE OFFICER)number one looked at Po number two in confusion. They walked over, checked out my wheels. (and Kendra made sad pouty faces in the back ground). “this got an engine on it?”—-“No. Its just a measly egg bicycle”…. (hee hee ha ha and by that I mean IT DOES HAVE AN ENGINE— that is powered by a solar panel and i can turn it on when I want!! HOOO HOO HA HA HA HA WA WA WE WA).

“And really, Sorry officer, I just wanted to see ‘what this  baby can do’, I said.”I just got this baby, and I wanted to see how fast it can go!”

“Well this baby—- can get you in a lot of trouble—- That’s what!…Now I don’t know what this here vehicle is.. but you’re lucky, I’m gonna let you go with just a warning. ”

Kendra and I looked into each others eyes with a happy panting dog productions kind of a smile, thanked the officers, and passed off a Discover DC Pedicab Tours Business Card. “Free Tour anytime officer, bring your wife, kids, and or grandma— at your service!”

Yay! With the PoPO drama that followed our bike ride, we had almost forgotten the man trouble that perplexed us in the first place.

We pedoodled off into the midst of Rhode Island Avenue where shit starts to get real after you pass that gas station on Florida Ave.  As I dodged some pot holes, passed more red lights, and felt satisfaction for my eventful day, the sun continuously charged my elf which would allow me to do this again tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow I won’t be the super pedicab woman on call… bUt thats another story for another time.

In conclusion: 1)you can rent an elf for 50 dollars for two hours starting december 4th! 2) Ask about our elf tours! (2 seater elfs)! 3) Don’t let relationship problems give you road rage, but if you do000—-make sure you get a super pedicab woman lady on call to save your day! 202-656-3593

Comments

One Response to “ELF IS COMING TO DC!”
  1. Sandy says:

    How much is one to buy? I want a test drive!

Leave A Comment